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Finding Neutral

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I am in Old Fort, North Carolina in a pretty little house deep in the woods. I've been here since February 2nd. There is a creek flowing through the property and not another house in sight. The signs on the trail I run say Bear Sanctuary. Of course they do. My hair was on fire when I arrived. It's day 21, though, and I think I'm on to something. Only I can prevent hair fires, right? My hair is a little singed, but the smoke is clearing.  I came here to find neutral. And then to feel for first. To get still and to focus and to listen and to find a perfect relationship between clutch, shift, brake and throttle. What I'm finding instead is there's no perfect relationship between anything.  There have been a lot of curves in the road this year - and it's been a bumpy ride. I'm in the woods to take a closer look at what makes my days feel so out of control and how this head-fire began in the first place. I want to figure out if maybe I can find the courage to lif...

Your hair. It's on fire.

I had a dream my hair was on fire. I didn't realize this until the woman behind me pointed it out, apologizing for the inconvenience. I was trying to lead a group of people through a night time fair or carnival of some sort, and everyone was hungry and in a hurry. It was dark and there were a lot of people at the fair and there was jostling and pushing through the walkways toward the food booths.  So I found a place to buy some food - a greek booth, I think with things like falafel and gyros. There were lots of men behind the counter. Dark haired men in aprons with spatulas and such. There was shouting - though no anger per se - just shouting orders and nexts and numbers like - hey! 149! Gyro up! But when it was my turn to place an order, for some reason I circled around to the backside of the counter and begin to take orders from the big line of people instead. I had a spatula in my own hand now, and was pointing to the next person in line leaning toward them to hear them better....

To begin, begin. - William Wordsworth